Words can Paint the picture
Welcome to my space where words truly paint the pictures of life. Here, you'll find uploads of my everyday thoughts, inspired by moments captured on Instagram. Join me as I share reflections, stories, and insights of day to day life.
And just like my tears the rain falls silently upon the ground, the concrete of my soul is stained with the tears of reality as I try to blink past the haziness of pain and the well of fear at the back of my eyes. But I am empty, the water flows along the ground neither slowing or stopping picking up the debris of dreams smashed on the ground. Like hard steel upon my skin I am run through, like a robot without a purpose I wait for you.
No self worth, I am nothing. A raging torrent of dust on an endless wind of no consequence. Just an endless circle of confusion an amalgamation of wrong choices loosely bound in flesh. I feel neither tethered to this life nor composure for the next, keep my feet bound down for I may just break apart like leaves in autumn.
And to the victor go the spoils... new words with no meaning. Like catching water with a net, the more I struggle the more slips through. I fight against the wind, the raging torrent of the hurricane to find you at the centre of my storm.
And I'm on the outside watching him hold you, and my heart breaks that I'm not your one. You cannot see me, but how can that be? I'm bleeding my heart out, My heart screams and soul shout, but your made of stone. So I'll just go alone.
Darkness bound, tomorrow's cold, no sunshine left, I'm growing old. I can't stop thinking and my heart is sinking, watching you leaving with him two as one. I'm a sailor with no chart, since you've broken his heart. So I'll just swim alone.
The land sundered, torn apart by violent shakes as heaven and earth collide together. Self doubt creeps in at every angle and I no long see myself in the mirror, just the blurred haze of past memories. I often think of her, the fading twilight of the moon forever eclipsed and ever out of reach. Like an arrow chasing the target I am a breeze chasing the leaf, forever to want and never to have
Inspiration doesn't strike every day. Like a blacksmith strikes the anvil and stokes the fire. I am burnt out, my fire consumed. My heart is broken and cold. Hammer my soul, and reshape what's broken, the dying light is old. But tomorrow brings hope and my demon is slain a new day dawns and I'm rebuilt again.
Maybe I'm the foolish, foolish of pride, thinking that you'd maybe value my time. Got nothing left to give, maybe that's my crime.I'm only human after all, I'm only human after all, feels right to blame me. The blame must be with me.I look in the mirror and what do I see, nothing but an empty shell staring at me. I open my mouth but you don't hear, not worth the effort I only fear. I give you your space, let things take their pace, I'm only human after all, I make mistakes and that's my fault, just continue to blame me.
Life is short and it doesn't last. Caught in the wake of my own storm and I'm fading fast. Weather beats me but floods won't drown what I can't see. Tears fall like glass pearls to shatter on the floor while I desperately try to find the exit door. Tired of the eggshells, walking on this fragile sensation that can't bear the weight of expectation. Moons are gone, they don't shine so bright. I shall chart my course by another light.
Is this what life has become? The meaningless trudge everyday to mediocrity where we rinse and repeat the same exercise that we did the day before. I feel like I am staring down the barrel waiting for release, for something different. In that class of complainers who expect change to come to them without seeking it. And I wake from the elusive dream to see the world as it is and not how I wish it to be. Where we look back on the mistakes of our lives and call it destiny when in fact it's just one grab for a straw of hope after another. Time to let go and see if these wings I harbour will truly let me fly.
Faceless people staring into the distance of a future that they can't quite reach. Standing in a carriage way of people, crowded with no space, yet utterly alone voyaging to a destination that offers no solace only solitude. Faceless people with lives of no course or chart all commuters on a journey called life, no rudder just rattling on the tracks. Single destination, oblivion.
Sun is shining yet I feel no warmth. All the mistakes of life, piled up and to some it's destiny to me is all meaningless, cast on the wind with no direction a single spec of dust in a galactic maelstrom. I look for strands of hope, like threads but I can't grasp them. My wants just drift away on the sea, swallowed by the nothing that consumes me.
Standing on the cliff edge, the roaring sea before me, white foam crashing against sundered black rocks. Hopes dashed, where dreams once rolled with the seas mine were carried with the waves blissfully ignorant of the impending destruction against the sharp rocks of reality. A sailor who's lost his course, has no stars and no moon to guide his course.
And for all these words that are written, and never said. Thoughts that creep into the corners of the mind and never thought out loud. Hope. Like that single ray of sunshine that dares to break through the clouds, it's always darkest before the dawn, and it's dark right now, I am waiting in the darkness cold and alone waiting for that single ray of sun and the hope that follows. Be my dawn light, pierce the darkness, cleanse my soul with hope, burn away my doubts and fears, just hold me close.
The wall of silence that you built between us like glass, I see through it but no matter how hard I beat my fists against it, it won't shatter. The air stifling on this side of our man made divide and I can't breathe. I wish I could just turn off how I feel, but you built me up, as if just to watch me break under the weight of silence. Of all the weapons to use, silence is the most violent, like a thunderclap of nothing, ripping hope and dreams asunder.
We are but strangers, I reach out a hand and it gets turned away. I shoulder support and you turn the other cheek. So now left on the barren rocks of reality I trudge away, each step more difficult than the last but for my sake I have to. I have what I though was precious but it was discarded just as quick. Like a toy soldier I wait on the shelf for the day you pay attention to me. But I draw a line in this sand, a "wish you were here" marker as I make my journey alone. Forever alone, at least I can depend on me.
I am but a shadow, there is nothing left to see, I am a mere whisper, of what I used to be. A feather that's plucked from the bird, it's floats upon the breeze, no meaning so absurd. A husk, a shell of useless rind, a memory of what I left behind. A shadow, maybe of a man, almost undone, a single blade of winter grass, that burns beneath the sun.
